Why do we all accept things for what they are without really understanding them?  Why do we not enter into the situation from an inside viewpoint?  I ask these questions because I sometimes wonder why the world is not really ready to understand certain things.  Why must the world judge things for what they seem and not for what they are.  Just something I needed to say.

Someone recently brought my attention to a topic that I find very exciting.  Why do we keep people in our lives.  Well, I have come up with the reasons for the following types of people:

1)   Ex-coworker - This person was someone who really helped you out and treated you great while you were working with them.  They are someone that you truly miss and if things were different you would have kept working there because of this person.  Sometimes the factors are too great to stay at a shithole ex-job, but you will always be friends with this person.

Why is it that friends are the hardest thing to keep when life becomes busy.  It seems that people expect you to stop everything and contact them on a daily basis even when you are too busy to keep track of your own life.  A sign of true friendship is to be able to go away for an unspecified amount of time and come together without missing a hitch.  If you honestly think things are different when you come together as friends because there was a period of time you did not speak or see each other, then the friendship was not that strong to begin with.  I leave this random of thoughts with a favorite quote of mine:

" A true friend will not be holding your hand when you die, they will be holding your soul."

Whenever I am on a business trip I end up at some point sitting somewhere alone.  Or at least emotionally alone.  I don't know why this feeling overcomes me, but it is something I am constantly battling with.  Some people say it's anxiety and I need to relax, some people say it's my family-oriented mindset.  I don't know what it is, but it really is the worst thing in the world.  I feel as if all the people I am remembering, thinking of, and wishing I was with are not really thinking of me.  It feels as if I am stuck in a remote part of the world and I am never going to be reunited with them again.  It is actually quite awful.  I just felt the feeling, and I will tell you that I don't know why it happens.  My girl is a good person, she loves me and when I am not around it is difficult for her to ground herself, but she tries hard.  My mother is wonderful and I know that she thinks of me on a regular basis.  My dad loves me to death, but is always busy, and then all of my friends, ex-love's of my life, and family are all busy with their lives and I might be a thought once in a while, but on a regular basis, no.  I don't know why that bothers me.  It is like I am a person who can not let go.  I hang on to the memories, the feelings, the thoughts that I once had and still, to this day, possess.  How do I let these go?  Should I?  Or maybe I should learn how to suppress these thoughts and feelings???  I really wish things were different and I could, because it would make traveling a hell of a lot easier.

Oh well, little sad on the road.

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and God Bless!

Why is it that we tend to always realize how much someone means to us once they are gone? 

Take it from me, I have made this realization in my life and it is a wonderful feeling.  As some of you already know, my mother is terminally ill and the only hope for her is a lung transplant.  She is a candidate, but realistically will not make it through the process because of her age and current condition.  For years I never respected her and took her for granted.  Everything that she did or said was never good enough.  Now, I look back at all of the wonderful things she did and I realize what she means to me.  When I wanted something that cost a few bucks she would lie to my father so that I can have it.  When I got hurt she was the first one that was there for me.  But most of all when I did something wrong she was the first one to let me know!  I always took her hitting me as an insult and never realized what she was doing.  But, in retrospect I can see her motive.  I am 25 years old and have never tried a drug.  I am 25 years old and have never gotten into a serious fight.  I open doors for elderly and women and I say please and thank you.  I pray to God each and every day and I realize that life is much more than the materialism of this earth.  I am a good person and I owe it all to my mom.  When my dad was working nights, she was there to make us feel protected and when my schoolmates called me fat, she was there to hold me.  But most of all when I wanted to go anywhere she was there at the door, keys in hand, ready to go.  So, now that she is ready to go to a bigger better place, I make sure that each and every day she knows how much I love her.  She is not only a woman of virtue, she is a woman to admire.  Her battles with mental illness have lead her to become one of the best writers I have ever read.  So, I ask all of you to realize how important the people in your life are, because you never know when their journey will end.  So, make it a good one! 

" Life is not only a journey of the body, it is a maturation of the soul and a molding of the mind."

Have you ever wondered why some people can live in our country and not have the slightest clue about politics?

How do you take from the programs given to you, enjoy the benefits of waking up every morning and not worrying about domestic warfare?

You can do that because the government protects and supports us in every single way.  They are the eyes that are open when we are sleeping.  They are the hand that props us up when we are falling down.  Yet sometimes they are the destructive force that costs us our jobs, or our health.

We need to get involved!  I urge you at to start following the politics that affect your life, support the individuals that can help you and fight against the masses that can take down our country.

Know your role!

GET INVOLVED!

Have you ever wondered what would have happened if you chose another path in life?

Well, let me the first one to tell you to STOP WONDERING.  There is no magical time machine that can take you back to the moment where you chose or did not choose what you are questioning.  But what I am going to tell you is that your ALIVE.  Take the opportunities that are in front of you and make something of it.  Life goes on and reveals glorious things and without taking the chance or trying to make something of your life, you can never change a decision that you once made.  If you thought of changing careers but your children were small, then do it now and try something different.  If you were going to buy a convertible car, but you thought you would get looked at odd because you are older, BUY IT NOW!  Enjoy life.

Why does life have to be this or that?

Why does any one person have to settle for being a certain way because that is what is expected of them?

Some people just don't get it.  I don't know why, but they do not get it.  Here are some of the things that have recently been told to me... in no specific order:

   1) I don't want to work anymore; I am going to stay home.
   2) I love him but I am not in love with him, but if we break up I have to move my stuff and I am too lazy to do that!
   3) I need to borrow money to buy your christmas gift!
   4) Why should I clean my room, it is only going to get dirty again.

Have you ever thought what it was like to be terminally ill?  I currently have MONO and I know that one day my pains and aches will go away and I will be able to move on with my life.  There will be no more work missed, no more of life;s moments passed by, and I will be able to join the rest of the world in a whirlwind of insanity and advancement. 

BUT!  What about someone who is terminally ill?  My mother is one of these people.  I do not say this for sympathy, but I say this as a tribute to her!  Could you imagine waking up every morning knowing things are not going to get any better?  Waking up and realizing that you will never be able to take a jog on the white sands of a tropical beach.  Knowing that the last pain-free day of your life has passed and there are only "better" days ahead. 

I just want everyone who is healthy to admire it, enjoy it, and realize that YOU get the opportunity to walk, to breathe without the help of an oxygen machine, say hello to your children, and most of all, wake up and say, " What a wonderful day, I feel good today!"  So I ask you to enjoy this health, and I pray to the lord that the health will follow you for the rest of your life.  I do however ask for one more thing.  When your late for an appointment, just be late, do not go 100 miles an hour and risk the car going out of control.  When you are nervous reach for a stick of gum and not a carcinogenic cigarette.  When you are out with friends drink until you have a buzz not liver spots.  But, most of all, when you are chosing what food to put into your body, put good food in and fuel your healthy body, because a few big macs over a few years will have you face down and ass up in a hospital waiting for a speedy NITRO shot in your ass!